Letting Things Rest
Do you intentionally or unintentionally busy yourself with needing to get somewhere, even when the destination is unclear?
A few weeks ago, I walked one of the nine trails to Santiago de Compostela. It is very usual for people to bring intention when walking Camino, and I was encouraged to think about this prior to the journey starting. I held it loosely; surely intention would not be hard to name since I had hard things going on in my life that could use focus. Until one unexpected morning, two days before my start, I sensed the invitation from God to let it all be (not let it all go) and for me to walk ‘being in the moment.’
This sounds so simple, and it is definitely not!
Here I was, walking with the invitation to let things rest and be in the moment. Where would I look? What would I look toward? Would I look towards anything at all? How would I stop looking back? Being in the moment would scratch out looking forward, backward, or in any direction in particular.
During Camino, there is quite an emphasis on the arrival at the Cathedral in Santiago de Compostela. The Cathedral is impressive (understatement), and this is also where you get your last stamp for your pilgrimage passport and your certificate of completion. When I crossed paths with fellow pilgrims in my days of walking, I often heard things like: “When do you plan to get there? I wonder if I make it there, my feet are in bad shape. What will it be like to arrive? Will you do this again?”
Notice the nature of questions and statements.
I can tell you now, my arrival at the Cathedral felt quite… empty. The Cathedral is not why I walked. This is not why I went on my pilgrimage or even why I chose to walk a Santiago de Compostela trail. At the Cathedral, I ran into some pilgrims I met along the way; no one told me how amazing the destination was. Not one person was truly exhilarated. I heard some say how arriving felt like a letdown. Right there, we all understood the power of walking Santiago de Compostela.
We journeyed for days on end (some weeks on end), and we felt and realized significant things on those days. We came across people who would, without their knowledge, influence our journey and how we were in it. It had become clear; it never was about arrival or destination; it was always about those days of walking.
What a lesson for me today. I have known this in my head, and now I got to experience the true meaning of this big life lesson.
Would it surprise you when I tell you that those things I felt needed focus were actually addressed in and through my ‘letting it rest,’ my walking, and ‘being in the moment’? In my stillness about them, they moved. Through my walking, I noticed how ‘things’ shifted, and how I was transformed in them. It is a very mystical experience.
I traveled the distance between the head and the heart that Kevin O’Brien, S.J., talks about in his book The Ignatian Journey. Letting things rest and walking ‘being in the moment’ birthed a sense of freedom, peace, and joy. I will say it again: a shift took place from heavy burdens to freedom, peace, and joy.
At the Catherdral, I did celebrate; I celebrated all I was feeling; I celebrated the art of being in the moment; I celebrated transformation; I celebrated the people I crossed paths with and am so grateful for to this day. I celebrated the intimacy I found, with myself, others, and God. Yes, I drank a glass of wine with others right there on that square; we were full of joy and took a gazillion photos, not of the Cathedral but of ourselves. We wanted to capture our happy hearts.
Let’s take this to our here and now…. As you ponder your summer, what intentions and desires do you carry with you?
When you sit with that, how is God moving these intentions and desires? Do they shift? Do they stay the same?
How can you practice openness, as Ignatius describes, with expectancy rather than expectations? In Holy Indifference and Trust?
The Steps
Choose a medium for this practice; you can spend time writing your way through this practice (perhaps while using your non-dominant hand), and you can also go for a walk (using a (finger)labyrinth can be a great option as well.
Set a time frame for yourself. 30 minutes is great, and you might commit to doing this every day for a week.
When you start writing or walking, focus on the first question above.
When you name your desires, remember that God is with you and really wants to hear your asks. For many, this is a bit of a hurdle, and if it is for you, I suggest you journal and walk only thinking about God wanting to hear your asks until it is a felt experience, until you feel God’s desire for you in your heart.
Next, know and name your intentions and desires for the summer, and as you do, pay attention to what you feel as you name these things.
Practice openness as you journal or walk by pausing from time to time. Stop writing, stop walking; look around, be still. Listen to the sounds around you; listen to your heartbeat. Take a slow breath and ‘simply’ be and let be. Hold up your desires instead of holding unto them.
What do you notice about your openness; is it hard to let go of your grip? Is it easy to trust? How does expectancy feel versus expectations?
Once you pick up your pen or pace again, go back to naming your intentions and desires.
Next, practice ‘being in the moment’ while writing or walking. When writing, only write about what you are feeling and noticing. When walking, notice the sounds, smells, and colors around you. Whenever thoughts come, bring yourself back to the here and now. You can bring your attention to feeling your pen between your fingers, or touch trees and leaves gently. This will pause your thoughts and help you be in the moment.
Is anything in regards to your intentions or desires shifting for you? Do things stay the same? (Remember, my intentions were very clear, until one morning while journaling, things shifted beyond doubt.) If something shifts, travel on with that in your heart. Journal where you are at, or walk with this on your mind. Let thoughts come and move as you write or walk.
Stay with this as long as you would like, and in closing, take some time to write down in your journal what you experienced during this time;
~ How does it feel to be in the moment?
~ What was it like to notice your intentions?
~ How did it feel to express your desires?
~ How is God responding to you?
~ What invitation do you sense as you bring this to a close?